Readers, buy this book. You will never read a book that is this important. You will care for this book as if it is your own child. You will feel overwhelming anxiety and nausea without this book. You will no longer need any other entertainment after buying this book. You will buy this book for you and your friends. Readers possibly will not be manipulated by the above sentences. However, this humorous guide will provide these inexperienced, future mind persuaders with the tools and techniques of the brainwashing trade to achieve their most immediate life objectives. Readers will learn how to: manipulate friends to believe your viewpoints; repeat phrases until they are jarred into their families' thoughts; use Pavlovian reinforcement to persuade significant others to do housework. With Brainwashing for Beginners, readers will convince and convert the world around them today. Buy this book.